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PITT H3 #180 – Scrum swallowing the sultan @ The Fireside Public House
Nov 8 @ 6:30 pm

Remember remember the 5th of November. It was 3 days ago. Fireside happy hour is 5-7 $4 PA beers and $5 small bites. There is a trail. More to come when the hare raiser annoys me further.

PITT H3 #181 – Sand Turkey – Sir Vix, Handy, Man-G, Shameless @ Eleventh Hour
Nov 21 @ 6:30 pm

It’s that time of year again – A PITT TRAIL ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT –

It’s the 6th Annual Sand Turkey!! Join us for this annual PITT tradition of drinking WAY too much to escape the clutches of the hangover monster the next day while having to deal with your family!

Bring your friends, virgins, and offbeat coworkers or a stroll through Lawrenceville while chasing mythical Sand Turkeys.   Trail will obviously be short, flat, shiggy free and no fun.

This year the blessed Sand Turkey has seen fit to choose Sir Vix, Man Gurgler, Shameless Cussy, and John Handycock as trail tribute.

Trail will begin at Eleventh Hour Brewing (Located at 3711 Charlotte St. Pittsburgh PA 15201.) Meet up at 6:30 PM and plan to be on out by 7:00 PM.

Trail is A to A Prime! A post trail party will be held at Walter’s Southern Kitchen (Located at 4501 Butler St, Lawrenceville, PA 15201).  The kitchen will be open until 2:00 AM. Park somewhere between the two locations for a good time!

This trail is NOT Dog friendly.

Hash Cash:  $5 (which will be donated in its entirety to a local food bank) In addition to regular trail beer stops, trail will also contain 1 contra stop so bring some extra coin

Please be responsible getting home post trail.  You know we cannot out run you so we will do our best to make being sober and fast difficult!  ?

Happy Sand Turkey everyone.

PITT H3 #182 –Cuffed & Sphinx @ Village Tavern and Trattoria
Dec 6 @ 6:30 pm

Meet at an upscale establishment in the West End for shirley temples and virgin daiquiris to discuss philosophy, then enjoy the warm evening as we stroll for a half mile along a flat, even path.

What? Some of that was true, specifically “West End” and “evening.” And possibly “the,” though that is a matter of some debate. Some of it was a slight bending of the truth, such as “meet” and “establishment.” But some of it was outright lie, like “flat” and “warm” and “enjoy.”

Expect shiggy, hills, twigs, thorns, ticks, shiggy, and mud, with a strong chance of rain, snow, and ice. Bring $5 hash cash, headlamp, and a dry bag. And maybe gloves. Babies are best left at home for this one.

PITT H3 #183 – Krampus Gift Exchange, Black Clap
Dec 20 @ 6:30 pm

Krampus….that fucker makes his appearance year after year….dragging hapless people to hell in a basket.  Come out and give him a chase instead….but beware his dark basket.

Afterward, the annual PITT H3 white elephant gift exchange will take place.

Bring a gift/re-gift ~$5 to take part in it. **NO PACKAGED HASHITS ALLOWED** We will load up the gifts into the beer car…so don’t be LATE!

Who:  TBC and Cream of Mushroom

What:  The Krampus hash

Where:  Allegheny City Brewing, 507 Foreland Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Why:  Krampus might show up and grab you…so why not chase him instead?

PITT H3 #184 – Shameless, Lever behind, and Anal Eaze @ Abjuration Brewing
Jan 3 @ 6:30 pm

Abandon hope all ye who hash here! The first Pitt H3 hash of the year is the Raptor Death Trail! It’s another year closer to death for Shameless and she wants you to share in her existential dread! We got abandoned structures, backwoods dirt roads, skull décor, raptor warnings, and, best of all, dead bodies on trail! With so much post-apocalyptic fun, this trail is sure to be short, flat, and shiggy free. Flying dogs only, the hares are not responsible for what delicate paws will have to traverse to cross the wastelands. For those of you who are filled with hope for the New Year, this shit trail ain’t for you.

PITT H3 #185 – Plea Barkin and Spermit @ Mad Mex
Jan 17 @ 6:30 pm

Last spring, Spermit, Ptear-Her-Dactyl and I, Plea Barkin, attempted a grand hash in Fox Chapel only to be faced with obstruction and obstacles in the form of:

a) law enforcement;
b) tropical monsoons; and
c) chemically-induced amnesia.

Somehow, with the one exception of Death Marshall, the pack seemed to like the abuse we served. Spermit and I now have the honor to punish you again. And we will. Oh yes, we will. (Practice these words, my friends:

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Practice them and say them with sincerity, because with heartfelt sincerity, you may. You may have another.)

We’ve gone out of our way to add a little to a lot of everything you hate. Do you hate shiggy? Well, you’re fucked. Do you love shiggy but hate pounding pavement? Fucked again! Hate interactions with those who protect and serve? Triple fucked! The one exception is if you hate hills, then there will definitely 100% not be any of those.

Normally Spermit has been the voice of reason and nixed the truly wonderful things we’ve planned for you. Well guess what? Spermit gave up being nice for lent! Fucked again you are.

In all honesty, the best advice we can give you is not to come…In the interim, I am praying for snow so I can wear my crampons.

We may also have a third hare, she/he was drunk when we discussed, but pray that does not happen. That would only make things worse for the pack.

PITT H3 #186 – The Kois’ Are Back In Town @ Black Beauty Lounge
Jan 31 @ 6:30 pm

The Koi’s are back in town. Actually we never left but I liked the ring of that. Anyways it’s going to be fucking cold Thursday. Like really really fucking cold. So put on your warmest fish gear and come meet us at the Black Beauty Lounge. Bring extra cash so that you can buy Pookie a drink and maybe she will help you warm back up after trail.

PITT H3 #187 – Moon and Drunk Dynasty @ Southern Tier Brewery
Feb 14 @ 6:30 pm

Drunk dynasty and Moon present the

Isn’t It Romantic 

Valentine’s Day Hash

You can’t get lei’d unless you are wearing sexy underwear

Thursday, February 14th @ 6:30

Southern Tier Brewery

316 N Shore Dr, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

This trail will be fast, flat and dry, pick two

Moon 412-310-3741

PITT H3 #188 – Cuffed and Sphincter @ Evergreen Cafe
Feb 28 @ 6:30 pm

I know what you’re thinking, “Those assholes again?” Fear not, dear half-mind, we’re offering an olive branch in solemn observation of a murderversary (and arsonversary?). Leave your climbing harnesses, rope, ice axes, dry bags, yea even your trail shoes, neatly stored in your red dress closet. Road shoes, headlamp, and pepper spray should suffice.

It’s an Evergreen hash in honor of Steve, that other guy, and Vinnie the Thief. $5 hash cash, and this one is actually fido friendly.


PITT H3 #189 – Hickey and London @ Brook Line N Sinker
Mar 14 @ 6:30 pm

It’s Hickey’s birthday and she didn’t have any other plans.