Hash #1817 – The House of Blue Lights
Yes it’s a George Thorogood song. It’s also what the locals (probably) now call the New Kensington Sheetz. You see, they installed blue lights in the bathrooms there so heroin enthusiasts have a hard time finding a vein to shoot up. Community health!
What does this have to do with trail? Well, Sheetz is right next to the start, The House of 1000 Beers. They got cider, they got stout, they got gluten free, they got craft, they got piss, they got it all okay? Come on out for what the RA promises will be a beautiful day. Your trail will be LIVE hared by Texas transplants Whale’s Vagina and Manwich. Can you catch the hare? Can you pull down his pants? Can you get a complimentary tire rotation while-you-wait? Probably! Will the trail be shitty? Definitely. Is there a chance the track could bend? This is a trail advertisement, not a municipal monorail discussion.
There will be falses, song checks, clothing checks, nipple-elbow checks, Brass Monkey check, blowjobs and snowballs. There will not be a 5-course catered dinner, surprise appearance by Shakira, or a pool check.
Bring: $0 hash cash, a sexy virgin, shiggy socks, your favorite koozie, a spirit of general bonhomie, someone’s attractive cousin, and a double dose of Naloxone.