1180 Desiderio Blvd
Clairton, PA 15025
USA
It’s time to set your clocks forward and “spring ahead” (who said spring…) in celebration of Squirreleo’s Beerthday Hash. This year it’ll be held in the beautiful town of Clairton aptly known as the “City of Prayer” (you just might need a prayer or two for this one).
We’ll meet up, and hopefully end up, at the ritziest of ritzy, Terrace Gardens where the beer is cheap, the food is good and the bartender is hot… well, hotter than Squirreleo. On-out will be whenever everyone has had enough time to aptly prepare their half mind for the adventures to follow. There will be pavement for the pavement pounders, hills for the hill climbers, tracks for the track stars, slums for the slum lords, nature for the naturalist, tunnels for the tunnel rats and much, much more! And there will be beer!!!
Got virgins? Virgins are always welcome. But please assess their level of fitness first before inviting them. There won’t be a laggin wagon to cart their sorry asses back like we had last year. Seriously, if the terms adventurous, athletic and masochistic are not adjectives that describe you, you too might want to sit this one out.
“But Squirreleo, you’re an over the hill, 55 year old, deutsch-bag loser and STFU can’t claw his way out of a paper bag! What makes you think I can’t handle your trail?”
“Okay then, cum on out and play. Just don’t say that you’ve not been warned.”
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Hares: Honeynut Squirelleo, Shut The Fuck Up, and Just Natasha
Where? Terrace Gardens, 1180 Desiderio Blvd, Clairton, PA 15025
When? Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, March 12th, 2:00 Pee Ehm
What? Hash #1767 — Mostly contra. That means that we don’t want your $5 and that the beer and food is on you before, after and at one of the beer stops on trail. The hares will provide at least one other beer stop; don’t expect Chimay.
Why? Because it’s Squirreleo’s Beerth Day! He’s lived a vile, despicable and shameful life so far… He feels the need to punish himself for his disgraceful 55 years of existence.
Fido Friendly? I doubt that the Terrace Gardens or the establishment on trail will welcome your hound and there is one area of trail where a “No Dogs” sign is posted. But that’s never stopped you before now has it?
Dry Bag? Silly question. It’s always good practice to bring a dry bag to a hash… you just never know, now do you?
Questions? For the long, verbose and questionably accurate answer that will leave you more confused than you are right now, call Shut The Fuck Up at 412-758-0179. For the short, distinct, Readers Digest version text Honeynut Squirreleo, 412-737-2318. Still confused? Call the Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.