It’s that time of year again. Not the season of joy and cheerfulness but the time for salt and scorn. It’s time for FESTIVUS. This year Porn Again Christian has requested the aide of Idiotic Cat Poser and Tight Embouchure to help him lay the most painful trail of the year.
Now what is Festivus? It started back before I gave a fuck by some people who don’t come around anymore. Defender of Peedom who carried the tradition for many years tasked PA with carrying on the tradition because he is old as shit now and wanted to have a baby for some odd reason. There are three major parts to Festivus:
1. Feats of Strength – The pack will carry our lovely Festivus pole and all of its beautiful decorations the length of trail. Any complaining about them will result in punishment most severe. Also the night is not over until all three hares are pinned.
2. Airing of Grievances – Call out your fellow hasher for anything that they did that pissed you off over the last year whether or not it occurred on trail. Remember when you saw Scrum Guzzler wearing that stupid fucking shirt that ruined your day or Gay Horse Dancer wouldn’t comment on your cute cat pic? Call them out. They either need to finish their drink in hand or defend their honor on the cement.
3. Feasting – Last and also the least important there will be a feast. The hares will provide several dishes but we ask that if you can make a small side or something that you do. It will go a long way. Hares will also provide a keg of PBR and a keg of whatever craft beer we get on the cheap. If you plan to party that night probably should bring some supplementing beers. We will party as long as people want to.
No hash cash. Donations are welcome but not expected. Your misery is worth the hares time and hard work. Crash space is available.