ATTENTION ALL YOU CREATIVE HALF-MINDS!
The time has come to replace Swing Low as the closing song for PITT. Mismanagement sat around and scratched our asses trying desperately to think of something to replace it, but we got nothin’. That’s where you come in!
We are holding a contest to find our new closing song. Here are the rules. Pay attention!
- You must be a regular PITT Hasher. If we don’t normally see you on trail, you ain’t eligible to write our song.
- You may write the song on your own or as a group, but everyone should be a PITT Hasher.
- You must have a complete song to enter: words, melody, and motions. No half-ass “I have a great idea, but it’s just not finished” bullshit. You have time to write something if you really want to. No excuses.
- You must perform the song at the contest in its entirety. You may have friends perform with you, but it should be well rehearsed. In other words, no drunken antics. We can do that on our own time.
- The contest will be judged the way we judge all PITT contests (as long as he’s around): We will use the Spermometer.
- If you win or we like your song, you will have to patiently teach it to the RA. The rest of us can follow him and act like we know what we’re doing until we learn it.
- Lastly, and this should go without saying, do not use the melody of any cultural or historical songs. In other words, no cultural appropriation or being disrespectful. There are many tunes in the universe. Check the Googles if you are unsure of what to choose.
Some additional info: If you come up with a pretty groovy song that doesn’t win, no worries! If we like it, we’ll add it to the Hash Hymnal and sing it sometimes in circle. It just won’t be the closing song. Also, in order to win the hearts of your fellow Hashers, consider using a familiar tune that a lot of people know: Mr. Rogers’ songs, Pittsburgh Polka, shit like that. We are half-minds and have a tendency to gravitate towards what we know. This is not a requirement, just a suggestion.
Logistics for the actual contest: We’ll all gather at 6:00pm under the 40th Street Bridge in Lawrenceville. We’ll drink beer, and the RA will run the contest. Someone will win. Others will cry. We’ll drink more beer.
Questions? Hit up your PITT MM: Defender, Cock in a Net, Sphincter, Cuffed, AZ, or Clap. They may not have an answer, but they’ll make something up.