* Hash #1785: The “Let Me Tell You a Secret” Trail
* Hare: Slow Ride
* Where: Secrets Bar & Grill — 633 Mcgowan Ave, West Mifflin 15122
* When: Sunday, July 23rd, 2:00 pm
* Hash Cash: No hash cash. Beer on trail and down downs will be provided by the Hare; food and drinks before and after trail are on you.
Hey there, it’s Slow Ride. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking when I signed up for laying a trail! As June turned to July the panic attacks started settling in. I began thinking, “I never laid a trail all by myself before. That’s going to require scouting a trail, maybe running into an unforeseen cliff, or barbed wire, a pack of wolves, who knows what? I’d have to go back and start all over. Then there’s that mess of throwing flour all over the place and getting that nasty stuff stuck under my nails… Oh Hell NO!!! There’s got to be a better way!”
I could always ask my boyfriend to do it for me but he’s way too smart for that; he’s onto my bullshit!
Then it came to me. I’ll just make up some lame excuse, something like car trouble or whatever, and go crying to Squirreleo over it. That simp will do anything if he thinks there’s a remote possibility that he might “get some” (which of course he never will, he had his chance).
So I sent him a text, which lead to a phone conversation, which lead to me making it seem like Squirreleo’s idea to volunteer to lay my trail for me. And it was easier than I thought! He told me that he’s been looking at a shiggalicious area that’s ‘A to A’, Fido friendly (except the bar of course) and will most likely require a dry bag. The whole process didn’t take me more than about ten minutes of total phone time. Brilliant!
I almost feel sorry for the poor simp… no, not really, not really at all. Never underestimate the power of a vagina. But hey, don’t tell Squirreleo about this little chat we just had. Let’s keep it our little “Secret”.