Tn@ – Hermnal

Opening Song

RA: All the hashing ladies
Harriettes: All the hashing ladies
RA: All the hashing ladies
Harriettes: All the hashing ladies
RA: Put your cups up. To G!
Harriettes: To G Spot/ Mistress/Mom/etc.

Hare Songs

Like a Hare
Tune: Madonna – Like a Prayer
This trail’s a mystery
I find I’m all alone
Am I the FRB?
I wanna go hooome…
When you call RU
It’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees
Is that a hash mark there?
Just like a hare,
This trail won’t take me there
Just like a hare,
This trail won’t take me there…

Songs for Virgins

Like a Virgin
Tune: Madonna – Like a Virgin
You’re a virgin, hashed for the very first time
You’re a vi-ir-ir-gin
Pick that shiggy out of your behind
You’re so new, here’s a brew
Aren’t you glad you hashed with the Tn@ crew?
Cuz you make us feel…
Oh, you ma-a-a-ake us feel
Like we’re old news.
You’re a virgin, hashed for the very first time
You’re a vir-ir-ir-gin
Drink up your beer
And pay next time!

FBI/Busy Beaver Songs

You’re so Fast
Tune: Carly Simon – You’re so Vain
You’re so fast
You probably think this hash is about you
You’re so fast (you’re so fast)
I bet you think this hash is about you,
Don’t you? Fuck you!

DFL/Lazy Llama Songs

Only Half a Brain
Tune: If I Only had a Brain
She has whiled away the hours
Searching hills for flour
Across the wide terrain (Across the wide terrain!)
She’d be chipper
She’d be cheerful
If she only has a glass full
Cause she’s only half a brain

Autohashers/Pimp Songs

A Ride to the Beer
Tune: Janis Joplin – Mercedes Benz

Oh lord, won’t you find me a ride to the beer?
My friends are all drinking
And I’m stuck out here
I’ll ride in a Chevy, a Ford, or a truck
If you get me there,
I’ll throw in a… Down, down, down, down

Blood on Trail

Blood in my Pussy
Tune: Deep Purple – Smoke on the Water
Lyrics: Oodles

Bloooood in my pussy
Cramping in my gut

A Tampon for Now
Tune: Somebody to Love

Lyrics: Oodles

Each morning I get up I bleed a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look at yourself in the mirror
And cry
I just gotta go through menopause
Someday I’m gonna be free
Oh somebody
Can anybody find me?
A tampon for now

No More Blood on Trail

No Strings
Tune: No Strings (from Pinocchio)

I’ve got no strings so I have fun
There’s no bloody mess when I cum
How I love my liberty
There are no strings in me!

Tune: Imagine (John Lennon)

Imagine no more bleeding
It’s easy if you try
No more cramps or crying
Or blood dripping down your thighs
Imagine all the panties
Who wouldn’t have streaks and stains
You- you may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
Some day these periods
Will be over
And I’ll always be ready
To have some fun

Dogs on Trail

Tune: Simon & Garfunkel – The Sound of Silence
Hello Fido, my old friend
I’ve come to play with you again
It’s another lonely night.
Here’s some peanut butter,
Please don’t bite.
Because your tongue is so much softer than my fist
I can’t resist
The gentle kiss
Of Fido

Closing Song

Proud to be a Harriette
Tune: Lee Greenwood – Proud to be an American
Lyrics: ManG

And I’m proud to be a harriette
Where my titties can be free
And I won’t forget the men who cried
Because they can’t hash with me
And I proudly circle up!
Next to yinz
And hash with you each month
‘Cuz there ain’t no doubt
I love this hash
G bless the Tn@!

Additional Songs

A Few of My Favorite Things
Tune: A Few of My Favorite Things

Dildos, vibrators, and Vaseline jelly
These are the things that set fire to my belly
In and out, up and down
Makes my cunt sing
These are a few of my favorite things

Men are useless, I don’t need them
I’m the best I’ve had.
I simple remember my favorite things
And then I just feel so rad

Little Harriette
Tune: I’m a little teapot

I’m a little Hariette, cute and hot.
Here are my titties, here is my twat.
When you get me steamed up, I will shout.
Bend me over and eat me out.

Hot Vagina
Tune: I’ve Been Working on the Railroad

Hot vagina for your breakfast
Hot vagina for your lunch
Hot vagina for your dinner
So munch, munch, munch, munch, munch
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Bite size ready to eat,
So grab your chick,
Give her a lick
Hot vagina can’t be beat

Rubber Dickie
Tune: Rubber Ducky

Rubber Dickie, you’re the one.
You make bedtime so much fun.
Rubber dickie I’m awfully fond of you. Rubber Dickie, toy of toys.
When you’re in me, I make noise.
Rubber dickie you’re my best friend, it’s true.

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

It’s raining, it’s pouring
sex with you is boring!
Went to bed with your sister instead
and now I’m not so horny!

I Will Survive!
Tune: I Will Survive!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
that I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on…

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for Big Mac and you bought me a French Fry,
I should have known that it was bullshit,
just a sad pathetic dream.

Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, walk out the door.
Don’t you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
weren’t you a prat to think I wouldn’t catch you out,
Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size doesn’t count?

CHORUS: I will survive, I will survive,
Cause as long as I have batteries, my sex life is gonna thrive.
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex
I will survive, I will survive.

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud.
When I saw your little wiener standing tall and proud.
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs.
Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for a cordless multi-speed.

Go on, now go! Get out of my sight
I’m going back to my appliance ’cause I know the length is right.
And if I ever see your tiny cock at my door,
You’ll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor. Go on now go!

I Like Cock
Tune: Three Blind Mice

I like cock, I like cock,
See how they rise, See how they rise,
They fit so nicely and feel so grand,
They come in all sizes, all shapes and brands,
There’s nothing finer than making them stand,
‘Cause I like cock, I like cock.

Milk With a Hard On

Milk with a hard on
Ice cream!

It’s a Beautiful Day
Tune: Mr Rogers
Lyrics by Oodles

It’s a beautiful day in my clitoral hood
A beautiful day for a clitoris
Could you lick mine
Would you lick mine

It’s a pretty dry day in my womanhood
A pretty dry day for a finger
Could you use lube?
Would you use lube?

I have always wanted to have a partner just like you
I have always wanted to have a hottie to screw!

Let’s make the most of my womanly bits
And since we’re together, suck on my tits
Would you be my, could you be my
Won’t you be my

I Want a Hysterectomy for Christmas
Tune: I wanna hippopotamus for Christmas

Lyrics: Oodles

Oh I wanna hysterectomy for Christmas
Only a hysterectomy will do
Don’t want an IUD
No shots or pills for me
My only birth control will be abdominal surgery

Oh I want a hysterectomy for christmas
I don’t think my husband will mind do you
He won’t have to use, a condom when we screw
Just rip out all my organs that’s the easy thing to do.

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Pussy shaven bare
Oh what joy and what surprise
When you spread apart my thighs
And my empty vagina’s lying there

No labiaplasty, no new pair of tits
I just want you to remove my reproductive bits

I’m Bringing Sexist Back
Tune: I’m bringing sexy back

Lyrics: Oodles

I’m bringing sexist back
Go to the kitchen and make me a snack
Then do the dishes and come rub my back
Don’t give me lip or you might get a smack

Take it to the bedroom

I see you voting i’ll make you regret
Come to my house i’ll let you be my pet
I know that housework makes your pussy wet

Take it to the kitchen

Cents on the dollar’s what you’re worth to me
Why buy the cow when you get milk for free
Now wear your pearls and be a real lady

Take it to the classroom

If you put out you might not get a C
I know a way that you might get some D
You only want your MRS degree

I’m rubbing it why are you getting pissed
Stop saying you want to start with a kiss
Foreplay is not something that’s on my list

Ain’t No Penis
Tune: Ain’t no Sunshine

Lyrics: Oodles

Ain’t no penis when he’s gone
Just your toy when he’s away
Ain’t no penis when he’s gone
Any time he goes away

Wonder where his dick has gone
But my dildo’s here to stay
No cunnilingus when he’s gone
But this showerhead
Won’t go away

I rub I rub I rub I rub

God Bless Vagina
Tune: God Bless America

Lyrics: Oodles

God Bless Vagina
Twat that I love
Lie below it, licking that clit
Through the night with the wet cunt above

From her asshole, to her clitoris
To her pussy, white with grool
God bless vagina, my home sweet home
God bless the T&A

Love My Pussy
Tune: Love Me Tender

Love my body, love my slit
Rub your tongue against my clit
Hold me open, go to town
Just keep going (down, down, down, down…)

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