Last spring, Spermit, Ptear-Her-Dactyl and I, Plea Barkin, attempted a grand hash in Fox Chapel only to be faced with obstruction and obstacles in the form of:
a) law enforcement;
b) tropical monsoons; and
c) chemically-induced amnesia.
Somehow, with the one exception of Death Marshall, the pack seemed to like the abuse we served. Spermit and I now have the honor to punish you again. And we will. Oh yes, we will. (Practice these words, my friends:
Thank you sir, may I have another?
Practice them and say them with sincerity, because with heartfelt sincerity, you may. You may have another.)
We’ve gone out of our way to add a little to a lot of everything you hate. Do you hate shiggy? Well, you’re fucked. Do you love shiggy but hate pounding pavement? Fucked again! Hate interactions with those who protect and serve? Triple fucked! The one exception is if you hate hills, then there will definitely 100% not be any of those.
Normally Spermit has been the voice of reason and nixed the truly wonderful things we’ve planned for you. Well guess what? Spermit gave up being nice for lent! Fucked again you are.
In all honesty, the best advice we can give you is not to come…In the interim, I am praying for snow so I can wear my crampons.
We may also have a third hare, she/he was drunk when we discussed, but pray that does not happen. That would only make things worse for the pack.