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The March 17th, Beerthday Chili Cook-Off Trail!!!

Last year, around this time, a few aging beerthday hashers laid a trail for you half minds, which included a chili cook-off, and miraculously everyone survived. Well, we’re at it again. Sure it’ll be a different trail than you saw last year. And yes, it’ll be at a different location. But we abused you properly last year, then begged forgiveness with a kick-ass apres; what makes you think it’ll be different this year? So, with that, we present to you an entirely new shit-show of a PGH-H3 Trail: The 2024, Beerthday, Chili Cook-Off Hash!!!

Trail will be short, flat, dry and hares never lie. Shiggy level will be whatever it is, but expect something more than a merkin but less than a 70s porno. Prepare to be amused, abused, beered well and fed even better. The first beer stop will be on the hares, the second beer stop might be on you depending on if I can persuade them to be open. If so, beer will be on you (Fido will have to sit outside for this one). If not, we’ll provide a second beer stop; don’t expect Chimay. Whatever; be prepared with a few bucks or a credit card for the second beer stop just in case.

NOTE: Back by popular demand, get ready for another CHILI COOK-OFF!!!  

If you think that your chili can compete, we invite you to bring a crockpot of your favorite recipe to the start of trail. We’ll keep it warm for you and provide the extra fixings for the on-after competition. Liquher Cookie is in charge of the contest, so you know it’ll be classy.

You don’t have to compete in the competition to do trail and enjoy some chili. You don’t have to do trail to compete in the competition. You don’t even have to do trail or compete in the completion if you just want to pimp and enjoy some chili. Everyone is welcome. Liquher Cookie will select a few, non-biased, judges to decide the winners. Prizes will include bragging rights; but more prestigiously:

• The winner of the BEST ALL-AROUND CHILI will be awarded ALL OF THE HASH CASH.

• The winner of the MOST UNIQUE CHILI gets a choice of either a really decent bottle of beer or an equally decent bottle of wine. Remember, the most unique chili can also win the best all-around chili and win both prizes.

• The RUNNER-UP OF THE BEST ALL AROUND CHILI will get the bottle that the winner of the most unique chili left for you. Either bottle will be something that you’ll be proud to share with a friend on a special occasion.

Good luck to everyone!

We pride ourselves on creating an experience that will allow you to tell stories that will “Wow!” your boring coworkers on Monday morning. Don’t disappoint them; be there to create your own story and be the object of jealousy for the week! GuarOnOnTeed!

Who: Plea Barkin, Liquher Cookie, Honeynut Squirreleo and you, of course.

What: A kick-ass Beerthday Trail and Chili Cook-Off Hash.

When: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, March 17th. 2:00 Peee Ehm

Where: Trail will start and end at Casa de’Squirreleo (4422 Inland Ave, 15122).

Why: Because it’s what we do. And we like chili.

Hash Cash: $2.00. Your hash cash will be awarded to the winner of first place in the chili cook-off.

Parking: Please Don’t Park In Front Of The Corner House Across The Street From Casa de’Squirreleo… PARK ANYWHERE BUT THERE!

Dry Bag: Always a good idea. Clean shoes please if you’re coming to the apres. Bedroom slippers are encouraged. Bedroom robes are acceptable if you want to pay homage to the late, great, Hugh Heffner. Nudity is encourage if you think Heff would approve.

Fido Friendly: Yes. Fido can do trail and hang out in Squirreleo’s fenced-in backyard during the apres.

Virgin Friendly? That’s a questionable judgment call only you can make. If you think losing their virginity to Squirreleo is a good idea, then, of course, bring them along. Who am I to judge?

Questions: Call or text Squirreleo 412-737-2318

Moon’s Big March Maddness Beerthday
SATURDAY. MARCH 23RD at 2pm
Iron City brewery
150 Ferry St, Creighton, PA 15030
Bring extra socks

Come on out to an EZ March BASH at SLY FOX Brewery
46 S 4th St, Pittsburgh, PA 15203
Moon and Crack Filler will lay trail that should be bashable by all bikes.
Mostly flat and utilizing mostly bike lanes only.
Two contra stops.

Q’s

Moon 412 310 3741

Crack Filler 724 612 5571

Cum out and play with Anal! Let’s do a pickup out of Trace Brewing! You may end up haring. Who knows? There may even be Easter eggs and some Easter candy!

Wear some bunny ears. Have a good time. Bring your ID and money. Start and stops will be contra. AZ has you covered for circle beers.

TRAIL IS SATURDAY AT 1:00PM!!!
Saturday. 1:00. Sat @ 1. Sabado a uno. 1:00 pee em on Saturday.

Who: Hickey No Dickey & Shriveled in London
When: April 4th @6:30 pm, 7pm hares away
Where: Egghead’s Saloon. 1162 Brookline Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15226
Trail shoes: Suggested, but you could get by without them
Shiggy: There is some prickly shiggy.
Bug spray: Wouldn’t hurt.
Doggo friendly: We recommend dogs stay home, but send the hares a message if you want to bring your dog and we can let you know the 2 parts of trail that may be challenging then you can decide for yourself.
Parking: Plenty of parking on Brookline. Please don’t be a dick by parking in the bar’s parking lot.
Hash cash: $5.00 except for virgins. Bar is cash only so make sure you bring more than $5.

Hare: Porn Again

Yeah its like 3 weeks after St Patrick’s day but we have a ton of half minds venturing across the world to New Zealand and we didn’t want them to miss out on the fun plus it might be a little bit warmer for those sultry dresses. So on April 6th grab everything you own that’s green and join Tight Embouchure and Porn Again Christian as we take a romp through the North Shore and confuse the local population. We can just claim we forgot when St Patrick’s day is because we were dunk.

This years charity will be Movember. Men’s mental health is unspoken epidemic in this country and we as a community need to be better at addressing it and talking about it openly. If you have lost anyone (male or not) and would like to honor them we will have a small place of honor for them (you will get your stuff back). There will be public talk of suicide.

Event details:
$20
4/6/24 at the YMR @2pm
631 Suismon St, Pittsburgh, PA 15212
Potluck dinner. Sign up below. No sugar cookies
There will be a cash 50/50.
Beer will be provided on trail but otherwise it’s on you to buy from the bar.
If anyone has any leads on cheap kegs let PA know.

Potluck Link

https://www.perfectpotluck.com/meals.php?t=XOGC3538

Theme:
Green Dress Run

Stuff to Bring:
Cash for 50/50 and money for beer

Rego link:
https://hashrego.com/events/pgh-h3-green-dress-run-2024?fbclid=IwAR0xLc4Mrtg9F7KJJr9FLpte0hzA3NoGtSXu1YkqnGOadNtUeZ1OnTaKNtQ

What: DarkSide Marathon
Where: TBC and Cockles house, 3952 McClure Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15212
When: Meet at 11am or so to go over everything and get situated. First mile at 11:30ish.
Why: To push ourselves harder and longer, but only partially in the dark this time!

The basics:  We’re doing a ~2 mile an hour event, with a DarkSide twist…because…well…DarkSide doesn’t do it the easy way. The end goal is going to be a marathon of distance over the span of 12 hours, with activities to keep us active!

Some activities that we’re planning on doing: cooking food, cornhole, etc

Schedule:
Meet at 11am
Review routes, get situated, get ready
11:30ish: Out and back, the long leg
After that, 1 mile every 30 minutes

PGH Hash, meet at 2pm, on out at 2:30pm sharp!! Hash cash is $5

Hash cash: $20 This covers beer, food, games, beer making, etc. Anything left over goes to a charity.

Also, for each mile that you don’t do, you pay $1 extra that we will pay out to the charity, which is World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/