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Assotope and Projectile Dog Shit are back at it, laying trail in their home town. Since you’ll get to see where we learned our ABCs, the theme of this trail will be ABC (Anything but Cups). What to expect:

A flat pavement pounder through the burbs.

Wanna see what a 69-year-old cruster can conjure? I carried two phones with me while scouting – my own and Dutchess’s. Mine logged 7.7 miles, hers 6.1. If you average them, you get 6.9 miles and I like that symmetry. Your mileage may vary.
Start is BYOB and I’m going early 90s old-school – providing one beer stop and circle beer at the end. You may want to consider bringing a roadie or two as well, in case you start jonesing mid-trail.
Trail is eminently dog-friendly (Koko is sleeping soundly as I type).
Apres will be at the Bronze Hood: 5920 Steubenville Pike, McKees Rocks, PA 15136
Questions/relationship advice/snarky horoscopes: 412-979-3314

Start: 6:30
On Out: 7:00
What: DS 101
Hash Cash: $5 (Cash Only)
Where: Steel City Sports Bar & Grub, 1216 Woods Run Ave Pittsburgh PA 15212 Pittsburgh, PA 15212
Why: To run a longer, harder trail and enjoy the shit out of it!!!

Who: Team Hypnotoad
When: November 16th @6:30 pm, 7pm hares away
Where: Rock Room
Trail shoes: Maybe? How brave are you?
Shiggy:
Bug spray: No
Doggo friendly: Yes
Parking: Sure
Hash cash: Free to everyone. 300 bby

ICH3#25 Beets the shit Outta the North Side

Friday November 17th is World Vasectomy day?. So, if you’re participating, enjoy your time at home on the couch icing your balls.

If not, Cum hang out with Beets & The Iron City Hash House Harriers for a fun Friday romp through the North Side.

Trail will be mostly flat & shiggy free.

You can walk if you like, but that will leave you with less time at the beer stops.

Bring money for contra beerstops.

It wouldn’t hurt to have a fleshlight.

Expect to be disappointed.

Cum as you are. We promise nothing, and bring even less to the table.

Bring Virgins.

We never charge hash cash.

As always, Attendance is mandatory.

Meetup 6:30pm

On out 7:00pm

Cum out for Just Sarah’s debut trail, and Snatch Rabbits first trail in unfamiliar territory (to her)!

What you will need- trail shoes a must, bug spray recommended…may or may not need headlamp.

On-out bar and apre bar are not Fido friendly, but trail is.

Apre will be at Steel City Sports bar, down the street from Young Brothers Bar.

You may only need money/ID for Young Brothers, but we still have some last minute ideas brewing so there may be one contra stop.

Wear orange if possible! ???? or dress like a deer if you want to add an extra element of danger.

Hoppy Hardwood and The Black Clap will take you on a turkey-filled trail.

Where: Penn Brewery, 800 Vinial St, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Why:  It’s the night before Thanksgiving and the Sandturkey is nigh!  Can you catch the Sandturkey as it winds through the night?

I am taking advantage of the fact that Snatch Rabbit literally begged me to take this trail to find out exactly how low I can go. What is the bare minimum of preparation? Jinkies and TLC eagerly agreed to help me find out. Smitten very reluctantly agreed to clean up our mess. So join us for this half-half-minded trail, which I guess I should technically refer to as a quarter-minded trail but that would require doing math, so let’s just round up and call it one-eighth-minded.

Here’s the deal: This will be a live-haired event with no scouting. Jinkies & TLC will show up with flour and do whatever Schoolhouse tells them to do (trust her to use this power well if not wisely). They have no idea where trail is going. Schoolhouse will likely not know where trail is going. Smitten will have some idea of where we will end up and will serve as sweeper and official trail therapist and hugger for anyone who is traumatized by the total lack of planning that has gone into this shit show. Can it be less organized than a Moon trail? Let’s find out!

Deets:
Hash Cash?: Bring money for a contra stop since we’re too lazy to lay more than one beer stop.

Distance?: YMMV. We will have Turkey/Eagle splits but only one of them will be marked. We’ll let you know how long it is when we are done laying it.

Dogs?: Sure. Except for the contra stop which may or may not allow dogs depending on where it is which I don’t know.

Dry bag?: I won’t try to get you wet but that doesn’t mean there won’t be water crossings. IDK.

Trail shoes?: IDK. Probably.

Location?: The web says Dive Bar is open, so I guess we’ll meet there.

Costumes?: Would I miss a chance to dress up Jinkies? This will be an animal print themed trail which is the lowest, low effort costume possible. If you don’t already have something animal print, why are you even hashing? (We will extend the definition of animal print to include anything with ears. Come on. You’ve got something.)

What did I forget? Probably a lot. But I’ll make up for it by being very prompt with unhelpful replies to all of your trail related questions.